The BIG date is set!!!

September 20th is the BIG day. The day I will get a cochlear implant in my left ear. The day my life will change as I know it. I found out on Monday. Yes, three days ago. You wonder why I didn't shout it out from the rooftops that day? I wondered that myself also. All the weeks leading up to the day I would find out, I imagined how excited I would be and how I would be so excited to tell the world about it. My reaction was certainly different than my imagination. The last three days I've been sorting through lots of feelings that I'm having and I still am. I never thought I could feel so much at once. I am excited and happy but along with that comes uncertainty, fear and curiosity. Uncertainty of the unknown. Fear of change. Curiosity of how it's all going to unfold for me. I'm 43 years old. I've been hearing impaired all of my life. That's all I know. In one day that will change in the blink of an eye. Like many of us, I have my comfort zone. I'm going way out of my comfort zone. Not that I don't want to but it's not an easy task. I have a lot of work ahead of me. Am I up to it? Yes, of course I am. I did years of training when I was little and I can do it again. That's the easy part. The hardest part for me will be changing what I've known for 43 years to something so new. I will still be the same Lisa. My personality won't change but I know in some ways I will change. I wrote a letter to my Mom and Dad last week. I wanted them to know how grateful I am to have them as parents, for them to have been so deeply involved in teaching me from a very young age and for giving me the tools I needed so I could be where I am today. I know where I came from. I'm proud of myself and who I am. I am glad I am hearing impaired.  It doesn't make me "me" but it is a part of who I am. God gave me a gift when I was born and I'm about to receive another gift. I have a purpose and I know that now. I took a huge leap of faith in the beginning of all of this. I've learned so much in the last ten weeks. I've learned about patience, faith, trust, gratitude and most of all LOVE. I'm ready for this.....ready as I will ever be. September seems far away but yet so close. It was the first available date they had. Some wonder if I'm sad that it's five months away.....not at all. It's all part of this journey I'm on. It's how it's supposed to be. As many of you know, I am a summer girl. I can't wait to enjoy this summer like never before! My Mom and I are still working on our book.....I will be writing lots until then. My oldest will graduate from college in Texas two weeks after my surgery. My husband and my other three children will keep me busy as always. My life is richly blessed and until the "big" day, I will continue to live in each moment. What more can I ask for?

To the most important teacher in my life: "I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart, but for you my heart has no bottom" ~Author Unknown........

Today was an AMAZING day! And how fitting it was, as I am embarking on a new chapter of my life. As I began this journey, my mind kept going back to some very important people in my life. One person I thought about so often and more so now than ever, was a very special teacher. She had such an impact on my life because I am where I am today because of her, along with my parents. She taught me how to lipread so well. She gave my parents the skills and lessons to work with me at home. I lost touch with her over the years and she had moved to Texas. I had to find Ms. Ann. I searched through Facebook. I found her name but there was no profile picture.....she does not like to have her picture taken :)  I sent a private message to her in hopes that she was the one I was looking for. She responded! I was thrilled. Over the next few months, she would read my blogs. She was excited for me. I prayed one day I would get to see her again and show my gratitude.  She emailed me in March and told me she was coming to Dayton in April to visit her sister and hoped we could meet. My prayers were answered! I had wanted this for so long. It had been 32 years since I had seen her! My Dad, my Mom and I met with her at Mimi's Cafe this afternoon. I was so anxious all morning and just couldn't wait. I walked into the lobby and there she was standing there. After all these years, I recognized her face especially her lips. We hugged each other so tightly. It took everything I had to hold my tears back. My heart was so full of gratitude for this woman, this very special teacher and I hoped she knew. We talked for almost three hours. Nonstop. We talked about my upcoming cochlear surgery and reminisced over the days of her teaching me. She taught me from the age of two until I was eight years old. I saw her three days a week for an hour each time. She worked with me in a group setting and privately. She taught me how to lipread by feeling her voice with my hand, by teaching me how form the sounds of each letter in the alphabet, by vibrations of the floor in response to her voice and by repeating words and sentences after her over and over. Week after week for many years, my parents drove me to Dayton to see her.......they never gave up. I am forever grateful to my parents who believed in me. Ms. Ann believed in me. She was told  I would never get past 4th grade level and that I should not be in public schools. Ms. Ann worked with me until I perfected my lipreading and language skills. My parents never gave up and they fought hard for me. My Mom put up a little fight for me to start kindergarten in the Kettering City Schools. They told my Mom I belonged in a deaf school. She refused to back down and she prevailed. I was taught well by Ms. Ann and I was ready for kindergarten. She moved away when I was eight years old and I continued my speech therapy in the schools twice a week. While I was talking with her today, I could feel the love from her. I could tell she was so proud of me and the woman I have become. She was happy that I was happy. She was happy that my parents were there and that they are still supportive of me in every way. As we got up to leave and my parents walked ahead of us, she looked at me and told me I had the best parents and I just knew what she meant. They did everything in their power for their child, me, because they believed in all of the possibilities for me. We hugged goodbye and said "I love you". When I walked back to the car with my Mom, I broke down in tears because I was overwhelmed with gratitude for Ms. Ann and her role in my life. It is my only hope that she knows how much. I love you Ms. Ann.

The best news today......

After waiting almost nine weeks I finally have my answer.....I am APPROVED!!!!
I woke up this morning so excited to go on my daughter Hannah's field trip to the Cincinnati Zoo. It was a beautiful day.....so gorgeous. I loved riding the school bus with her class and another chaperone, a very dear friend of mine. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and was feeling blessed all day. This is Hannah's last year in elementary school so it was very bittersweet for me. As I walked through the zoo with Hannah and my group, I was savoring every moment with her watching her laughs and smiles. Hannah and I share a very special bond and I am so grateful for it. She and I can steal looks at each other and we don't need words to speak our love for each other. We just know it and feel it. It was a great day.  I came home and Todd was awake. I had this peaceful feeling so I asked him to call Anthem to check on the status. The last two weeks were frustrating and probably the longest waiting time for me. Two weeks ago, I received a letter in the mail from Anthem saying the implant device was approved. I cried tears of joy and I was elated. But before I got too excited, I had Todd call my ENT office to confirm this. They said yes, the device was approved but they needed two codes. There was only one code in the letter which was for the device. They needed the other code for the surgery itself. My heart sank. I was quickly brought back to reality. More waiting. I waited a week. Last Monday, we called Anthem to check on the status. They told Todd they were still waiting on the code from my office. I called my office and they said sent the code. Ugh. There was a miscommunication along the lines somewhere so we asked them to please follow up on it. I thought I would give it until Wednesday to call Anthem. Wednesday and Thursday passed. I didn't feel the need to call. Then today I woke up feeling really great and just felt peaceful all day. So, when I asked Todd to call Anthem today I wasn't feeling anxious at all. It was a different feeling. I was ready. Todd makes the call and I'm watching his lips very intently. He writes all these numbers down. And I hear him say, "so this is the authorization code for approval of both the device and surgery?" and then he smiles. I just knew! My eyes start tearing up. I couldn't believe it!! I am approved! My heart just burst with joy! He immediately called my ENT office and talked to the scheduler. Even though he had the authorization code, she said we had to wait until we get the letter with the second code before we could set a surgery date. It's okay! I will probably get the letter tomorrow or the first of the week. What's another few days, right? I am elated. A huge weight has been lifted and I can relax. If anything, I have learned so much about patience and trust the last nine weeks. It was definitely an emotional rollercoaster for me and I was ready to get off but with each passing day, I learned how to be more patient. I learned so much about trusting in God's plan for me. The last few weeks, I noticed if I got frustrated or discouraged I was able to tell myself, there is a reason for whatever happened and I was able to trust in Him wholeheartedly. He is handpicking everything for me! How amazing is that? Today is Good Friday....the day He died for me....what an ultimate act of love. I am so humbled and so thankful.